Robin and Stephen's legacy of hope

Robin first met Stephen after placing a ‘lonely hearts’ ad in Time Out magazine that Stephen responded to. One phone call later, they arranged to meet. “Straight away, I knew there was something there,” says Robin. “It was just instant.”

Stephen was a keen gardener, and it was while out in the garden in 2009 and that the first sign of prostate cancer showed up: a pain in his back.

Stephen carried on with life, but the pain persisted, so he sought help from his GP. When the physiotherapy and painkillers didn’t help and the pain increased, a consultant he was seeing for another, unrelated, condition referred him for an MRI. Devastatingly, it showed two tumours on his spine.

“He had no warning symptoms of any sort until the cancer had spread from within the prostate and lodged in his spine – as advanced prostate cancer – which is, as yet, incurable,” said Robin.

Prostate cancer is the most common cancer in the UK, and Stephen’s experience of having no symptoms at first is not unusual. Once the cancer has spread beyond the prostate, treatments like hormone therapy, radiotherapy and chemotherapy can be used to try to control it, but it cannot be cured.

“As soon as he knew he had prostate cancer, he wanted to get involved with Prostate Cancer UK. He joined the Grant Advisory Panel to help assess which research projects Prostate Cancer UK will fund. It gave him an idea about what upcoming research might be helpful to him.”

Stephen experienced five years of normal life after his diagnosis, thanks to hormone therapy. After hormone therapy stopped working, he had chemotherapy. Then another type of chemotherapy.

“But advanced prostate cancer eventually becomes resistant to all forms of treatment. A very hard moment for us both came when the consultant told us that no further treatment was possible. We were out of options.”

With no more treatments to try, medical staff focused on keeping Stephen comfortable. One night, however, Stephen lost the use of his legs due to spinal compression from a tumour.

“Treatment with localised radiotherapy gave him minimal relief, but he was never able to walk again. His condition went on a downward curve from then on. He got more and more tired and less and less able to eat, until his death in May 2018.”

Since losing Stephen, Robin has also been an enthusiastic supporter of Prostate Cancer UK, working as a volunteer to raise awareness and talk about the value of gifts in Wills. And Robin knows better than most how valuable such gifts are, because Stephen was so involved with the charity’s research.

“Prostate Cancer UK was very dear to his heart, and he was quite determined that whatever happened, he was going to go on supporting the charity. And so, Stephen chose to leave a gift in his Will to Prostate Cancer UK.

“He wanted to see progress made in the treatment of advanced prostate cancer. Having seen what was on the horizon, he felt that there was such hope for the future and he wanted to contribute to that.”

Robin is also leaving a gift in his Will to Prostate Cancer UK. “I know that there are developments around better treatments for advanced disease, but that all takes money. It can be made possible by leaving money in your Will.”

Robin describes Prostate Cancer UK as “the leading organisation that is pushing the frontiers of prostate cancer and its diagnosis and treatment” – and it is the biggest public funder of prostate cancer research in the UK. The charity’s work has contributed to the use of more accurate diagnostic techniques, and the introduction of new medicines.

But long-term research is expensive and requires years of commitment. “Gifts in Wills are vital for this type of work. When you leave us a gift, it is more than money. It gives us the ability to plan new projects that may take years to come to fruition, but that can really change lives,” says Matt Hobbs, Director of Research at Prostate Cancer UK.

Find out more

Visit the Prostate Cancer UK website for more information about leaving a gift in your Will to Prostate Cancer UK.